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[18 Apr 2005|10:46pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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tool |
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I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral
of our divinity and still be a human.
Our body is light, we are immortal.
Our body is love, we are eternal.
Eternal..
The poetry that comes from the squaring off between,
And the circling is worth it.
Finding beauty in the dissonance.
There was a time that the pieces fit, but I watched them fall away.
Mildewed and smoldering, strangled by our coveting
I've done the math enough to know the dangers of our second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow, and strengthen our communication.
Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any
Sense of compassion
Between supposed lovers/brothers
If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out.
If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along
This tedious path I've chosen here
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may ... (sigh) ... I still may.
Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this.
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| yayyy!! |
[18 Feb 2005|06:49pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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last night was awesome
I LOVE ALL OF YOU; everysingle one of you :)!! <3<3
off to boyne for the weekend,
tophers comin too
and if anyone sees DR DAN SaBLES chris wants his shoes back please ;] thanks
hope you all have GREAT weekend
with love <3
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[19 Jan 2005|12:15am] |
armenian cruise with [dad's side]aunt, grandma, and mom n dev
treated like a princess, adventures to distant lands..
so much, too much- to talk about
best- parasailing, yoga .. love love love
it was great..
awhile in a whole nother world..
surrounded by high class bi and trilingal people
the excitement wore off,
sick of dressing to perfection and being a fun little angel to everyone
pushy fucking people
but mostly i felt real alone.
by the end of the longest week ever,
couldnt wait to come home..
missed my friends so much..
and my kitties even more..
but i came back, to the same old life
everyone , just smoking smoking smoking
me, the same .. of course
its such a bore. i shouldnt partake anymore.
i love my friends..
but theres so much more out there
coming back to west bloomfield . not to mention the freezing..
was the most unpleasant slap in the face
i feel so depressed .. and hopeless.
on the cruise i was actually thin and happy
and then i eat and eat ... only to become increasingly discusted with my obesity and lack of self control.. i feel, once i can get myself together, once im perfect, someone will come along.. a reward for all ive strived for. but love doesnt really work that way. im just wasting my time.. just so hopeless.
really all i wanted to say was i hate it here
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| so fresh, so clean |
[01 Jan 2005|06:36pm] |
i dont know what to say..
ive been waiting for another chance
at life. its finally here.. so,
HAPPY NEW YEAR!! i wish everyone luck and love, in this crazytime. whats to come?? i know NOTHING! its all blank, all mystery!! everything.. and this weather is fucking peculiar. i love it, its perfect. cool fresh air mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm :D this year is going wherever this weather decided to sneak through..
theres everything that i do not know..
but, i feel good
come with me, .. be worry free :]
to the future and BEYOND
behappy,
we are fresh and clean <3<3
last night was fun- chaotic, but then pretty good. the eve and the weather show what the year is going to be like.......... i feel.....
love to all. -ari
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[24 Dec 2004|03:59am] |
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mood |
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productive |
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music |
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tosca//boss on the boat |
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[ Step 1: Put your music player (iTunes, etc) on random.
Step 2: Pick your favorite lines from the first 20 songs that play.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from.
Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly. ]
1Days go by and still I think of you
2Ohh, can't anybody see; We've got a war to fight
3I’m used to it by now;Another day, just believe;Just breathe. just believe.
4Do you believe;In what you see
5Let them take you on a voyage to another...
..puters fucked.. restart & edit later.
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| HEY GUYS!! cmon................. |
[04 Dec 2004|10:57am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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do you believe... in what you see..? |
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everyone is changing, TOGETHER.. all at the same time.. im seeing it in soo many people, some sort of maturity.. there is something huge coming on.. [dont know when, or even exactly what, but its coming..]
and it seems theres this magnet.. bringing everyone together.. its amazing.. FEEL IT
is anyone aware of this?
.. if you are, please comment with what you feel.. those of us who feel it have the power to change the world.. we have to come together <3<3 im not bullshitting please..
*** had a dream the other day.. we were all on my backdeck, standing up, free, smoking cigarettes.. the sky was a pure bright blue.. FIRST time ive ever noticed color in my dream.. [the cigarette part didnt make much sense to me until just now- those who were at hernandez house that night.. remember that conversation.. how it brings people together.. sarah, lisa, chris, jacob.. REMEMBER??]
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| look to the stars . . . |
[21 Nov 2004|06:45am] |
[all signs] Sunday, November 21, 2004:
Wipe clean the cosmic slate, for the Moon enters pioneering Aries at 11:11 am EST. It's the first day of a new astrological month with the Sun entering the optimistic and opinionated sign of Sagittarius. During this time of year, we tend to focus on the big picture. We start shifting into holiday consciousness, from Thanksgiving in the USA, through the various religious holidays around the Winter Solstice on December 21. Sagittarius is a fire sign and the warmth of human fellowship inspires us to face the cold winter ahead.
* *
[Saturday.November 20.2004]
AQUARIUS: You are driven now to be with your clan. If you do gather friends or family together, however, it may not be all fun and games. There are powerful ideas floating around and as the group discussion develops, there might be some pretty heated talk. Remember that you can hold a position and still be open to what others say. It's not about winning an argument; it's about transforming isolation into understanding.
[Sunday.November 21.2004]
AQUARIUS: This is one of your favorite times of year. The energy feels clean. You are drawn into more social activities -- more, even than the holiday season would warrant. It's just that you want to be in groups of like-minded people. Watch your activity level for the next couple of days, for it may be difficult to contain the buzz.
somehow i just knew theyd be dead on
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| .. [whisper,soft..] "!wake up.. .. |
[21 Nov 2004|03:33am] |
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mood |
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excited |
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music |
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buzzing electronics, resting dog |
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
it took me so long!..
..how long have i been sleeping?
SLEEPWALKING.thatswhatitis.shit i just had another realization. if i got into it, id never get through it all-basically- EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING! it makes sense, it finally makes extraordinary sense! it fits together so PERFECTLY, so subtly.. yet so obviously.. plays tricks on your mind. thats the game. its a fucking brainteaser, life.. you think its one thing, so play the game but realize you were trying to figure out how to figure out the game, instead of PLAYING it.. finally, to toss this detective hat back into the ocean.. for another fish to find. a fish called wanda.wicked, admiring the fairies. wishing i was one.nomore swimming, no more upstream, no more water up my nose, no more pain to the membrane.. finally, metamorphasis. yayy my wings, now i can fly-where i could only watch before..now i am free :]
no fear
finally awake.
( ..OFCOURSE,pinkfloydsaysitbest.. )
**
i LOVE my friends: you are my sunshine<3eternal,AMAZING. love. rich adventures lay just up ahead.. come along and go.. away with me.. ;]
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[17 Nov 2004|11:45pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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family guy theme song |
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( hope? )
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[28 Sep 2004|08:40pm] |
autumn is my favorite :)
something in the air..
just takes me away
school.. steals too much ari energy. itd be okay if school stayed within its designated 7 hr chunk of the day.. but nooo, hw hw hw hw project project project RAGHGH!H! i cant take anymore.
i even i come to school EVERYDAY, wow. where are the lollipops and smelly stickers
well. here are some pictures, i dont know from when.
( oOoOoOoOooOOoOOo )
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[19 Sep 2004|03:03am] |
[friend]
mMmMmmmm the AIR.. favorite time of year. PERFECT weather, i wish it could stay this way until november and then switch all the pretty leafy trees for massive amounts of snow- SO much snow, we get barricaded inside our houses and school gets cancelled, and we can build igloos and secret tunnels..
one of my favorite things latly is just putting my arm out the window into the perfectly temperatured smooth whoosh of air :]
tonight i demanded someone construct a card castle- they did, n then someone knocked it over out of malice. i said, now YOU have to build the castle. and they did. and karma got him how he got the other guy. then it happened again with another person and another and another whahaha it was deja vue chaos. their reactions were all so the same, u just dont know how it feels when someone knocks down ur card castle :[ all that concentration, coordination, dedication- RUINED
nothing spectacular, but i feel i made new friends. love when that happens. my chill pool is rather small.
but the best night was driving to nowhere- the secret sub, our adventure to adventure no destination <3
been spending alot of time on hw and not even getting much done. sigh sigh sigh
peave
love
:)
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| dagnam |
[16 Sep 2004|03:44am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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air//talisman |
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chiyeu chiyeu chiyeu!!! emo immunity down sir, i dont know whats happened. roger.
" Because I'm easy come,easy go,
A little high, little low,
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me,
To me "
kitten a day keeps the doctor away ;)
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| the glass is half empty bc i drank it and it came out my eyes |
[20 Aug 2004|09:08pm] |
been disapointed alot latley. crying my heart out, gives intense pressure headaches. just wanting to give up, on everything, standing on the edge detached from caring about anything. coming to senses and getting up again, as always.. heal myself before i fall too deep. drowning but i packed my scuba gear so i will be okay as long as i find another boat before my oxygen runs out. its just alot that hasnt been going my way. things that keep happening.. or rather, not happening..past things still on my mind.. plus feeling real alone especially around friends so im needing that alone time again but my horoscope already told me that.
ive just been breaking down and crying latly and im not used to it cuz i never used to at all and it just takes alot out of me
meditating on the rainbow ring around my candle flame for a good while healed me to a better state. i was going to read the book i got from the library today but came up here instead. the basements stagnant air.. it smells downthere and i wish i had my old room still.. i miss my window, i miss the amazing fresh air bc of all the trees at my dads.
theres alot i have to do that ive been putting off and its burying me alive. mostly things that i dont know what or how. so i feel prevented. frustrated at that too. but its just myself being indecisive. things important to me that ive spent much time, much thought on.. way too much to end up choosing anything but the best ways.
i find it somewhat eerie how aquarian i really am.
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| a happy new year |
[17 Aug 2004|04:54pm] |
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mood |
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 good |
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music |
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childrenofbodom//thetrooper |
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[1] advgraphics // groves
[2] aerobics // henson
[3] algebra1 // shallal
[4] advphoto// davis
[5] need a class
[6] begpainting // cieciorka
[7] hnrsphilosophy // dorfman
whatchyuguysgot5th hr?
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| still in florida, and....... |
[12 Aug 2004|05:48pm] |
hurricane charlie is trying to kill us :-0 !!
haha this will be fun. but i hope our plane isnt delayed on sunday, ive got things to do people to see goddamn itll be the last week of summer
i miss my buddies <3
and.. i wont be coming home with a kitty like i thought.. everythings closed down.. and today they are putting down all the animals to make room for the new ones coming in from the hurricane. when the guy told us that i started crying and couldnt stop and the kitten nestled in my lap looked at me with big eyes and my heart just broke. there was this other cat i really bonded with.. beautiful, loving.. malnourished..i wanted more then ever to save her, to take her home with me. but i forgot to think about how itd get along with my dog and we could tell after awhile that it wouldnt, for it very closely resembled blacky's personality [appearance too]. :( :( we visited 3 animal shelters down here but it would cost even more to buy a carrier and bring it back on the plane and wed have to wait a few days to get it [mandatorily ]nuetered anyways...
well, we're packed up and heading inland to a hotel, everyone in the area has to evacuate. i love you all, and hope you're having a good time <3
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| in love with a movie.. |
[11 Aug 2004|01:56am] |
To all the guys out there: fucking see the notebook and learn. thats what girls want.
well no, .. thats what i need.
besides that. i havent seen acting that amazing.. ever.
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